Salt

I have been visiting the same seaside village in South Wales for the past 16 years. It has become my second home and my sanctuary. It’s the only place I feel at peace and it makes me sad when I leave. I think a part of my soul lives there and I can only be complete when I am there. It’s where I go to catch my breath, heal my wounds, take a break, refresh, recharge, rest, revive, and come back to life again.

I have spent countless holidays there with family and friends. It started when I was about 10 which turned into an annual trip. Then my Mom and Dad bought a holiday home there and we stayed every school holiday, every bank holiday and every chance we got. I thought that as I grew up I wouldn’t want to visit as much after years and years of staying in the same place but even now I can’t get enough of being there.

I've made friends there from going out and working in the local café who I’ve grown up with, more so than some of the friends I have here. I even had a few romances. I’d like to live there one day but I always question whether I could leave behind my family and friends here, at home.

There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t want to be on that beach with the sand beneath my feet, listening to the waves. It doesn’t matter what time of year, even if it’s chucking down with rain, it’s still where I’d rather be more than anywhere else in the world. It makes me feel whole.

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Happy Days

This drawing is for my personal trainer. I want to say it’s about an epic journey I’ve been on to lose weight but it’s more like a final struggle after many half-arsed attempts…

I’ve never been thin; I was a chubby baby, an average teen with puppy fat, a busty adolescent and now I’m a “well built” woman. My weight did concern me but it didn’t stop me from doing anything or encourage nasty comments from people, I wasn’t unhappy and I ate what I wanted, so, why bother?

Over the years, on and off, I made several attempts at dieting, joining the gym, going running, etc. but I soon got bored and made the excuse that there were other more important things (mostly cake). I didn’t see fitness as an important part of life but eventually my ignorance got the better of me and I started putting more and more weight on.

Earlier this year I went to Dubai to visit my teeny weeny size 0 friend, who made me feel like a man in drag when I stood next to her in photos and that’s when I decided that I really wanted to do something about my body.

In some respects, yes, this is about society and the media and expectations, blah blah blah. But it’s mostly about me, what I want to look like and how I want to feel.

Which brings me back to my personal trainer, I couldn’t have got this far without him (mostly because I haven’t got a clue what I’m doing!). I was never interested in sports and I’m not very good at them either, but he makes exercise fun and I spend most of our session laughing (he’s probably sick of my horrendous cackle by now…).

“Happy Days” is what he says when I’ve achieved something and although I take the piss out of him for saying it, it’s probably one of my favourite things to hear now. I feel like I’m making good progress and getting stronger all the time, which is an accomplishment in itself.

Thanks T.

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Soul

I think, talk and draw a lot about souls. I believe that we all have one and that it’s important to look after it. I can sense other people’s souls, whether they are good or bad, depending on what they say and do.

I feel a lot through my soul, probably more than what I feel through my heart. It sits in my chest and when it’s empty I can feel it aching, and it makes me sad.

It’s why I started drawing again. My soul wanted something from me, I listened and I answered and I thought I gave it what it wanted, but that was 4 weeks ago and now I can feel it wanting something else again.

I feel like I do everything I can to fill it up. I have a creative job, I do my drawings, I spend time with family and friends, I exercise, I potter in my apartment making sure everything is just right, I go for walks in the countryside and along the beach with the dogs…

What does it want now?

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