The One That Got Away

I seem to be cursed with the infliction of ex-lovers attempting to re-enter my life every now and then and they don't seem to realise how much it hurts.

It could be a matter of days, weeks, months, even years before they come back, and they always do, it's inevitable. Sometimes I'm even stupid enough to allow it.

I don't know if it's because they have genuine intentions, that they realise what they've lost and that they actually still like me or if they just know me too well, know that I'm too soft to tell them to piss off (which is what I should do instead of indulging their ego).

It's so frustrating, they were the ones that left, they always are. And I just can't cope with the emotional turmoil. If you couldn't see me for what I am then, how can you suddenly see it now?

I'm not any different now, if anything, I'm probably better than I was when we met. I'm stronger, fitter, funnier (if that's even possible), smarter, wiser, wiser to your bullshit, and my arse is better than it ever was!

As romantic as you think it is to confess your undying love for me, to tell me that you think about me all the time and that I'm the one that got away, it's not and I'm not. You let me get away for a reason so don't come chasing me thinking you're my knight in shining armour because you're just some idiot in tin foil with a head full of grand delusions.

Someone will come along and see me for what I am, there and then, and know what he has when he has me, not later when it’s too late, and he won't let go. So you can ride off into the sunset with the broken heart that you left me with.

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I’d Rather Be Alone

Recently I’ve had a lot of people asking me how my love life is going and they seem fairly surprised when I tell them that there isn’t one. When they ask me why, I tell them that I’d rather be alone, but that isn’t really true.

I don’t want to be on my own altogether forever and ever, it’s just that I’d rather be alone than with anyone for the sake of not be alone. I’d rather be with someone because I wanted to be with them and not purely because I didn’t want to be single.

I’ve overlooked compatibility issues in the past and compromised because I felt that being with anyone was better than being alone. But sometimes it takes making this mistake (multiple times) to realise that actually, it’s the other way around.

Now, I would much rather be on my own than be with someone who I couldn’t be myself around, or who wouldn’t accept me for everything that I am, or who I wasn’t head over heels for or vice versa.

You might as well be alone if you are with someone who is so unsuited for you that you feel alone anyway. So I’ll stay alone for now until someone comes along that I want to be alone with.

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